The day my life changed course
6 years ago my life took an abrupt and unexpected turn when Roy, husband passed away. So much of my life has changed since that day.
One of the lines in the documentary, My Invisible Husband says, “The sun rises and sets, life goes on.”
At first I didn’t want life to go on, now I am excited about what’s next. Thanks to his love and guidance I get to hang out with dolphins and birds and see life through the eyes of a camera lens that fills me with so much joy, Everyday!! Pinch me, I have loads of joy! Who knew?! Roy did.
Our journey together after his death is what inspired making the film. He and I used to spend hours talking about how we could reach more people. He was also a CranioSacral Therapist and was fiercely passionate about helping his clients. This film is our collaborative effort showing the healing power of love and nature.
If you are interested is reading a few snippets of the journey, this is an older post I wrote about some of his visits.
Thank you Everyone for your support along the way. I’m grateful to have you as my pod.
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I WROTE THIS ~ 3.15.19
It was 3 years ago today that my loving husband Roy Desjarlais suddenly left his body. In some ways it feels like yesterday and in others it feels like a lifetime ago. When I reflect back on this day 3 years ago I remember having a really intense dream a few nights before he died. I was on a plane that crashed landed in the water. I was alone standing on a piece of the plane screaming, “HELP!” I remember saying help out loud in my sleep.
I was really shook up when I woke up. Roy and I went for our usual walk with our dogs and I shared with him about the dream. We tried to figure out the meaning of the dream, but didn’t know at the time, the dream was a premonition.
For those of you who don’t know, Roy passed away in the hospital emergency room from an aortic dissection, a tearing of the aortic wall. He and I had a very close connection. We knew and felt what the other person was feeling.
I feel extremely lucky our relationship continued after his death. When I left the hospital that night, I felt him get in the car and come home with me. His presence was so strong I could see him sitting in the passenger seat.
For the 2 weeks following his death, I felt him attached at my right shoulder, his energy was palpable and solid. I was having 2 thoughts at 1 time. I could ask a question and hear his answer simultaneously. He made sure to joke and share things only Roy would say, helping me believe this was all true….real.
I admit, It was a little crazy making to feel him so strongly, on one hand I was devastated at losing him and on the hand I had a very present, loving and engaging invisible husband.
Looking back, I see how our deep connection saved me. Being able to feel him and talk to him was truly a gift for me. Sometimes when he visited we would have conversations. Other times it was more of a feeling he was there and I would receive a ‘download’ of information.
One morning about a month later I was pretty sad. I was walking our dog Lulu and Roy joined us. I asked him, “How are you?” he said “Really Good!” At first I was a little mad he was so good, but that quickly faded. He was really excited about all he was seeing. He said, “I wish I had a camera so I could share it.” Such a Roy thing to say, because Roy took photos of everything with his camera phone, and I mean everything.
I asked him to try to send me snap shots, like putting a Polaroid photo into my brain.He successfully helped me “see” the polaroid. He was right, the images were breathtaking, like something you see in Star Trek. He said, “Your words and our abilities don't really grasp the beauty, expansion and incredibleness of everything I see.”
I asked him, “What do you miss about being in a body?” He said “ I miss eating, drinking and driving- and all the aspects of why Beings come into bodies.” I miss experiencing textures, tastes and the feel of the breeze on my face.” He reminded me to notice the trees, the birds, the breeze, all of Nature and most of all to cherish and love the 3-D experience of a physical body. This is the essence I try to convey with my photography.
April 2017, in a dream he took me to the mall and said, “I want you to have a professional Canon camera for Christmas.” I couldn’t wait until Christmas, I waited about 2 weeks and bought the camera. He knew I was just going through the motions of life but not really living. He knew the camera would help me connect back to the natural healing of Mother Nature and bring me back to life.
Fast forward…….to Thanksgiving 2017. During a meditation he came for a visit. I said, “Hi! What are you doing?” Not sure why I asked that but I guess I was surprised he came in so strongly because I had not felt him in a while. He said, “I came to help my mom transition.” I found out the next day his mother passed away the night or two before Thanksgiving.
On that night he said, “I am going to be leaving for a while so you will move on.”
I said, “NOOOO!” He said, “It’s important for me to let go more.” I said, “I don’t like it, but I understand and knew he was right.
Fast forward to 2018.
Our interactions were less but I knew I could still reach him if I needed. When he did visit his energy was very light, which meant I had to be really clear to feel him. He again encouraged me to let go more. Yes, more surrender is necessary.
At one point in a deep meditation I asked him what he was doing where he was. He said he was gathering information and then sharing the energy with various body workers and healers. He described it as downloading new information and energy to assist in the healing. For those of us who knew him, we knew he would continue to help us.
He continues to be a Shineadoor…..One day I received a phone call from one his clients who said Roy came to her in a dream and told her she was very sick. He told her she needed to go to the doctor right away. When she went to the doctor they couldn’t find anything wrong but because of her dream, she insisted they keep looking. It’s a good thing they did because they found a tumor and she was scheduled for surgery. She is certain his visit saved her life.
Grief is a mystery. Sure there are emotional stages grief, but what I know now is they can last a minute or hours or weeks. They can even come at same time. Trusting Roy's process is the key to my sanity.
For anyone who has lost a loved one, including our fur babies, I hope this post helps give some peace knowing there is no separation between the physical world and the non-physical world. What I know for sure, is our loved ones can visit and assist, all we have to do is ask, trust and surrender.
As Roy would say, “Even in sadness, There Will Always Be Good in the World.”
Time heals, stay the course
The chilly wind was whipping this morning giving us an invigorating sunrise. Dark grey storm clouds loomed all around adding to the dramatic scene. The flock of seagulls flew in chatty bringing a joyful vibe with them.
The color show was magnificent! Mother Nature used every crayon in the box, even mixing up a few new shades of pink.
Pippa the pelican stopped by for a visit. She is a young brown pelican who has quite a bit of life experience with a couple bumps and bruises. She said, “It’s true, I’ve been bumped around a bit and I also know I’ll heal with time.”
I’ve spent a lot of time with Pippa over the past couple weeks. I’ve witnessed her courage to keep going, to keep diving, even when she doesn’t catch anything. She stays persistent bringing us the message not to give up, stay the course even when the road is bumpy. You got this!”
Wishing you a beautiful day friends.
Pippa the Pelican says, “With time, my boo boo will heal.”
I stay the course, despite the rough road
We are never really separated
A half hour before sunrise, a thick wall of grey ominous clouds filled the sky. As sunrise approached the clouds began to part letting the peachy light and clear blue sky peek through. The sun stayed hidden behind the fluffy clouds and rain on the horizon but found a way to stream magnificent golden rays of light through giving us a heart expanding vibe.
A small flock of seagulls flew in to say hello. One of them gave me a ‘look’ as if saying, “Where were you yesterday?!” He says, I’m the messenger of unspoken communication. You see, I can speak without using words. And did you know communication can happen even if you are not together? Communication can travel through the ethers, which means we are never really separate if we don’t want to be.”
An osprey came flying down the beach, reaching with her catch. She said, “I like to use my voice to communicate. I bring the message of celebrating your catch. Go ahead share your success, it can inspire others.”
Wishing you a beautiful day of connection!
Where were you yesterday?!
Tales from the lagoon~ Episode- Dolphins play with cormorants
Tales from the Lagoon ~ Episode- Dolphins Play with Cormorants
After sunrise the clouds were rolling in before a cold front making it an ideal time to grab breakfast for the dolphins. A maternity pod which is a pod consisting of moms and their calves along with a few 2-3 year olds. There was a total of 8 dolphin enjoying the morning together.
Abby the 3 year old who was recently entangled in a rope for a few days was with the group and she seemed to be doing really well! The dolphin I call Notch who I haven’t seen in a long time came in too! And of course Danika the dolphin who loves to hydroplane was helping out with the kiddos.
Dolphins love to play with the birds and today was one of those days where they were having blast teasing the cormorants. The cormorants would come flying out from under the water with a dolphin giving it a boop.
When they were not playing with the cormorants they were grabbing snacks. One of the calves was practicing her tail slap. That’s when they smack their fluke ( tail) hard on the water to get the fish swimming. Never gets old watching that little tail work it.
Stay tuned for more tales!
Dolphin giving a cormorant a boop
Cormorant didn’t like the game much.
Baby with a couple adults
Relax and let life unfold
With gusty cold wind whipping at sunrise I decided to give my cameras a day of rest and avoid more sandblasting. I thought I’d share a few bluesy photos along with a little bird talk.
Ozzie and Harriet are the local pigeons who live in the pontoon of deck boat. They have a great waterfront view, enjoy long boat rides, lots of kisses and taking a dip in the pool. I asked them one day how they manifested such a beautiful life.
They said, “We surround ourselves with nature. The natural beauty helps us harmonize our energy and restore balance. Oh and sneaking into the pool for a romantic bath keeps the love alive. Balance helps us relax and let life unfold.”
A bald eagle agreed as he flew by with a feather out of place. He said, “Sure it’s annoying to have one feather flapping in the wind. I recommend focusing on all the other feathers rather than the one out of place. Eventually it will feel better.”
Wishing you a beautiful day friends!
Express your heart’s desire
As I walked to the beach the clouds were zipping by courtesy of the 30 MPH wind gusts. A huge wall of cotton ball clouds on the horizon gave us unique lighting and a very cozy feeing to the morning.
The clouds soaked up the intense pink, then turned to lavender and finally a bronze color with jetting light rays as the sun came up. The flock of seagull flew in at their usual time using the wind to hang in place and chat.
On the way off the beach I ran into a mockingbird, who was very serious when she said, “I am here to encourage finding your voice. I recommend, dropping into your heart to find your unique song. Go ahead, express your heart’s desire with song, sing it loud and proud.”
After sunrise, a maternity pod (moms and their kiddos) came in to grab snacks and teach the youngins. Stay tuned, more from them later. An egret flew in and grabbed breakfast just a few feet away. We were both in the mangroves hiding from the wind. He said, “I have skinny legs that are most strong when I am grounded into the earth. The more centered and solid I am, the better my day goes.”
Wishing you a beautiful day friends!
PS~. The short documentary My Invisible Husband is available for rent:
Mockingbird says, “Drop into your heart to find your unique song”
Egret
I’ve got your back
The short documentary My Invisible Husband is available for rent:
Tales from the Lagoon ~Episode Breakfast with friends
Tales from the Lagoon~ Episode- Breakfast with Friends
After sunrise a pod of dolphins and 4 pelicans came to grab snacks. The dolphin were in a very playful mood and happy to interact with the pelicans. The dolphins usually grab a fish then hang out and rest for a few minutes before going again.
While they rest the pelicans and I have out, floating around enjoying each others company. We watch each other to see where the action is headed. It’s always a honor to hang out with the pelicans up close and personal.
Stay tuned for more tales!
PS ~At the end of the blog is a story that was posted today in The Epoch Times sharing photos I snapped of a young surfer sharing a wave with a dolphin at sunrise.
A link to an Interview in The Epoch Times sharing photos I took of a young surfer sharing the waves with a dolphin.
Listen to my inner knowing
WOW! It was a stunner of a soft and sweet sunrise with pastel refections. Fluffy clouds feeling like a cozy blanket soaked up the wonderful colors. When the sun came up a funnel of golden light poured through the clouds reminding us to allow love and light to fill us up.
A great egret flew overhead, relieving himself saying, let go! Let go of all the stuff you no longer need. Remember my motto, “Better out than in!”
After sunrise, several pod of dolphin came in to grab fish. Momma Jade and her kids, along with split fin and Danika were having breakfast. Several pelicans came to join in the party too.
One of my favorites who hangs out on a boat so he cam be close to the action was chatty. He said, “My secret to catching fish is a 3 step process. First, I stay focused, then I am patient as I wait until the moment to take action. Knowing how long to wait and when to take action is the key, so I trust and listen to my inner knowing.”
Stay tuned, more stories from the post sunrise party on the way. Wishing you a groovy day friends!
A great egret saying, “Poop Happens, Better out than in.”
Ready Aim…….Waiting for just the right moment
Fire!
A Happy Ending for a rope entangled dolphin
Tales from the Lagoon ~ Episode- A Happy Ending for a Rope Entangled Dolphin
Rain started early this morning, so I thought I would share dolphin shenanigans from yesterday after sunrise. A pod of moms and their babies came in to play, feed and share lots of affection.
Watching the moms and babies give affection is truly heart melting. The loving, touching and squeezing was so sweet that the love was palpable. The moms were very patient and seemed to love playing with the kiddos.
Momma Jade is a momma dolphin I met April 2019. In April 2019 she had a new baby Ruby, recently I met her latest baby who I’m calling Opal. Opal seems to enjoy her independence while Ruby always wanted to be touching her mom. I’m pretty certain Ruby was also with Momma Jade and Opal yesterday.
Recently a 3 year old dolphin named Abby was entangled in a rope around her dorsal fin and dragging in the water. Her mom stayed glued to her side for the past 3 days. They stayed away from the other dolphins during those days as well.
The Hubbs Florida Marine Mammal Stranding Team came out to assess the situation and found somehow the rope was gone! Yesterday, I saw Abby playing with the other kiddos! So great to see her free from that rope, I'm sure her mom was relieved too! Ahhhh, a happy ending.
From the HUBBS team, “These animals have been known to approach and patrol fishers. You can help prevent entanglements by reeling in your line if dolphins are near. Report entangled or injured dolphins to MyFWC Florida Fish and Wildlife : 1-888-404-3922.”
The HUBBS team has what I consider a heart wrenching job, they are the amazing people who rescue our injured or entangled dolphins or worse, the ones who don’t make it. If you want to help support them, please check out their fundraiser.
https://hswri.harnessapp.com/wv2/campaign/5479
Wishing you a happy day friends!
A mom and her youngin’
Momma Jade and Opal
Abby a 3 year old dolphin with an adult dolphin staying close. She was able to get free after 3 days.
Abby with the rope on her dorsal fin
Show love to your pod
Such a gorgeous sunrise with so many wildlife friends who wanted to play bringing us a happy vibe to start the day. A small flock of seagulls flew in and used the wind to hang in place chatting loudly.
When the sun started to come up, it looked like a person was holding the sun like a giant ball. Then the figure moved in front of the sun. Do you see anyone?
After sunrise, a pod of momma dolphins and their calves came in to play, grab snacks and cuddle. As they showed each other lots of love and affection they said, ”We highly recommend spending a few minutes each day showing love to those we care about.”
One of the kiddos popped up then rolled over on his back saying, “Go ahead, take a time out to relax and play. Even a couple minutes can help boost your immune system and your mood.”
The pelicans joined in the baby dolphin party saying, “Teamwork makes us more fruitful. Join us, let’s dive in together to reach our goal.”
Wishing you a happy day friends!
PS~ The documentary My Invisible Husband is available for rent:
A person holding the sun
Release stress through your breath
With rain overnight the sand was wet and cold under my feet. A light breeze, clam ocean and exquisite pastel colors gave us a very serene and heart opening sunrise. Low tide gave Mother Nature the opportunity to show us the mirror dimension, where we can see what life is reflecting back to us.
The flock of seagulls came in for bath time at their usual time. They said they will be leaving soon so I am savoring each moment with them.
After sunrise several different dolphin pods came in for snacks, affection and relaxation. One the dolphins brings us the message of using the power of our breath to lighten our load. He said, “ Let your breath release everything you no longer need. Inhale, exhale, repeat until you feel any stress or heaviness leave your body.”
One of the pelicans hanging with the dolphins said, “If something seems a bit vague, I find reading between the lines is helpful. I let my intuition let me know what is true for me.”
Wishing you a beautiful day friends!
PS~ My Invisible Husband, A short documentary is available for rent~ https://vimeo.com/ondemand/myinvisiblehusband
Exhale
Relaxing with friends
Read between the lines
Sunset Eco tour Marine Discovery Center
A friend snapped this photo from the Marine Discovery sunset eco tour. Can you believe it took me 4 years to figure out waders would keep me warm in the winter?! :)
Tales from the lagoon ~ Episode - Snacking with Friends
Tales from the Lagoon ~ Episode - Danika, Friends and Pelicans Come to Play!
The dolphin I call Danika and other dolphin friends came to play, grab snacks and tease the pelicans.
It’s the time of year when the pelicans join in the shenanigans. The pelicans hang out waiting for the dolphins to chase fish, then they swoop in and do their best to catch the fleeing fish. As you can see the pelicans scored some good snacks courtesy of the dolphin stirring up the snacks.
The dolphins enjoy swimming under the pelicans giving them a little bump or splash and they include playing with the cormorants and mergansers too.
Stay tuned for more tales!
What?! Too big, nah, he got it down in one gulp!
Danika popping up to say hello
The fishy that got away to swim another day
Go the distance
Mother Nature brought us a cozy sunrise with a light breeze and soft layer of fog. The flock of seagulls flew in before the sun came up. We enjoyed a really fun bath time with lots of splashing and playing.
Clouds hugged the sun as it came up in a pink haze that quickly turned to a golden ball of beaming heat.
After the sunrise in the river I spent time with Jewel the cormorant and her friends, a couple dolphin and a few pelicans. Jewel is both gorgeous and an amazing athlete. She brings us the message today of diving deep to catch what our heart desires.
She said, “I am a fierce bird who goes after what I want. I commit to my goal and trust my skills to go the distance and grab my fish. I’m here to encourage embracing unwavering faith in yourself as you dive into the unknown. Whether you catch your fish or not, you are supported and loved. Stay the course, you got this.”
Wishing you a beautiful day friends!
PS~ The short documentary, My Invisible Husband is for rent at the link below.
Jewel the cormorant looking beautiful
Love the one you are with
Spring is in the air with warmer temperatures and a pastel color palette. A light layer of fog and soft breeze gave us a sweet feeing to start the day. A fluffy cloud looking like a puppy dog floated by just above the sun as it came up. It looked like Super dog was flying over the sun to warm his belly.
One Legger and a small flock of seagulls flew in before the sunrise with a few ruddy turnstones and sandpipers. One Legger stopped mid air to say hello and sow off her strength.
Rootie Tootie, a ruddy turnstone brought us a love message, saying, “Love the one you are with. I am the reminder to fall deeper in love with yourself, even the parts we may not like so much.”
Penny the pelican was a a little further down the beach taking in the sunrise. She said, “A moment of quiet is a great way to reboot my nervous system. Time away from Pelican Highway gives me time to let go of stress and just be, enjoying the beauty all around.”
Wishing you a beautiful day!
PS~
The documentary, My Invisible Husband is available for rent!
A pelican zen moment
Cloud puppy
Root Tootie (Ruddy Turnstone) says, “Fall deeper in love with yourself”
Tales from the Lagoon~ Episode - SO many Friends!
Tales from the Lagoon ~ Episode- So many friends!
I often get asked if if I get bored hanging out waiting for the dolphins to visit. I never do because there is always someone to hang out. Especially this time of year when we have so many wildlife visitors.
These are just a few of the characters, there are blue herons, bald eagles, osprey, and even a few loons right now.
Stay tuned for more tales, including more from Danika the dolphin and friends!
Tricolored heron
Pelican and Tiger the Heermann’s gull
Merganser
Pelican bath
This was from my TGIF post on social media.
Let your soul be nourished
It was a peachy sunrise with a sweet pink and orange color show. As the sun came up, it looked like it was overlooking a mountain range. The warmth and light filled the air, accenting the fog looming over the shoreline.
A small flock of seagulls flew in for for bath time. One of them under my feet said, “I highly recommend slowing it down to take in all the textures of the moment. You’ll find you feel lighter and able to lift up with ease.”
After sunrise the osprey who hanging on the boat mast flew by at eye level. For a split second I could see the sunrise in her eye. She said, “I’m here to remind you to step into your power. Sure change can be daunting and you may feel out of your comfort zone, not to worry, you are never given more than you can handle.” Keep your focus on your heart’s desire and allow what nourishes your soul to fill you.”
The dolphin heading toward the lighthouse reminds us to be the lighthouse for others. Especially when others feel uncertain, shine your light, spreading hope, support and love.”
Wishing you a beautiful day friends!
PS- The Documentary My Invisible Husband is available for rent https://vimeo.com/ondemand/myinvisiblehusband
Focus on your strengths
I had to be away from the sunrise today but yesterday I had a special connection with Peg the seagull. I’ve known Peg since 2019 when she was named by a sunrise friend. Yesterday for the first time she landed near me and walked over to chat.
She is quite an athlete able to fly circles around some of her flock mates. As you can see by her eyes she is a sweet Being. She said, “I bring the message of focusing on our strengths. You see, the bird world, like life can have ups and downs. I keep my focus on what I do best then I feel better and more confident.”
Pelican Highway traffic is starting to pick up. They bring the message of using the energy of flow to carry you through the day. “Relax, let go of the outcome and enjoy riding the sweet spot of flow.”
Wishing you a beautiful day friends!
Probing within to find the answers
What a lovely sunrise we had today with sweet colors, a calm ocean, light breeze, dolphins feeding and loads of birds! The energy vibrant, so full of life with birds flitting here and there. Bath time with the flock was full of sweet connections and love.
Dolphins grabbed snacks just passed the waves that were rolling in 2 and 3 at a time. The dolphins encourage us to play more. They said, “Go ahead turn mundane tasks into playtime. Enjoy dancing while folding the laundry or singing while making dinner.”
A flock of American Oyster Catchers flew by as the sun was coming up for the third day in a row. They eat mollusks and crabs, using their strong, long beak to break them open.
They also use this amazing tool to probe the mud to find food reminding us to dig deep to find the answer. They said, “Sometimes we can hide the answer from ourselves in our muddy confusion, a little probing can help find the answer we seek.”
Tiger the Heermann’s gull flew in front of the sun showing off his beautiful colors encouraging us to come into the light and show off our uniqueness.
Wishing you a groovy day friends!
PS~. If you missed the announcement the documentary is available for rent! Check the previous post for the link.
American Oyster Catchers
Tiger the Heermann’s gull
Seagull Sunrise
Dolphins chasing breakfast
Bath time
Giving kisses goodbye for the day
Fun with shapes in the waves
My Invisible Husband is available!
My Invisible Husband, A short documentary is available to rent!
Just click the link below to rent it for $9.99
Flexibility is a key to success
It was a chilly and peachy sunrise. The waves were churning towards the shore tossing up a salty spray. With a very high tide, most of the beach was under water. A small flock of seagulls flew in hot, slamming on the brakes in front of the sun. We were all very happy to see the big ball of light come up bringing us warmth.
With a strong current bath time was super fun as we floated in and out with the waves. It brings me a lot of joy to see the sunrise through their eyes while they get squeaky clean.
The message today comes from the seagulls and the pelicans, as they slammed on their brakes changing directions on a dime they said, “We know to be successful it helps to be flexible. As we survey from above we are always ready to change direction, slam on the brakes or dive in. Being present in the moment is our super power so we know which way to go.”
When the pelicans took a break from grabbing snacks they landed on the dock nearby looking like Charlies Angels. They said, “Rest is part of being flexible, knowing when to take a time out and when to get back in the action.”
Wishing you a beautiful day friends!
